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How to deal with loneliness
Thread poster: ihd (X)
ihd (X)
ihd (X)
Local time: 06:59
Feb 16, 2011

Hey Proz users.
I've been meaning to ask the following question for quite a while, but I think now is a really good time to ask.
How do you guys manage to beat loneliness?

How do people manage to just deal with PC, by themselves, for 8 hours a day, five times a week (or 35-55 hours a week?). How do you manage not to get lonely at all?

I have been working as a translator part-time for over a year. Recently, I have been getting lots of work (which is good, bec
... See more
Hey Proz users.
I've been meaning to ask the following question for quite a while, but I think now is a really good time to ask.
How do you guys manage to beat loneliness?

How do people manage to just deal with PC, by themselves, for 8 hours a day, five times a week (or 35-55 hours a week?). How do you manage not to get lonely at all?

I have been working as a translator part-time for over a year. Recently, I have been getting lots of work (which is good, because I can now fully concentrate on translation), but I am starting to find it pretty hard to deal with it these days.
I know I have to finish my work within the next XX hours or so (which I will), but I found it extremely hard to do any work today.

Can you please share your experience?

Thanks
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Liv Fridtjofsen
Liv Fridtjofsen  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 22:59
English to Norwegian
+ ...
A good friend and colleague on Windows Live Messenger Feb 16, 2011

I know exactly what you mean!! I am lucky to have a friend and translator colleague on Windows Live Messenger. This means we can chat both about translator issues but also things that does not have anything to do with work.

I also think that we HAVE TO have friends or family to call on the phone, as well as going out to have a coffee during the day, just to see other people. It is a nice break from work. I think it helps even if I do not talk to anyone.

Good luck!


 
jedilost
jedilost
Türkiye
Local time: 00:59
English to Turkish
+ ...
you can go online. Feb 16, 2011

i think you should already have some anti-social tendencies to deal with it. if you really feel so lonely, you can always go online and chat with strangers. but you should reslly be very careful about that because you may lose the track of time.

 
David Wright
David Wright  Identity Verified
Austria
Local time: 22:59
German to English
+ ...
Get involved Feb 16, 2011

Live a life outside the office (join a choir, join a theatre group, teach English to adults, set your dog on pesky kids in the neighbourhood, invite the neghbour's wife over for coffee, seduce the postman - anything). I don't find loneliness a problem. I live in a tiny hamlet of about 90 inhabitants and there's usually someone to chat to if I step out the door. My problem is getting on with the job sometimes!

 
Almudena Grau
Almudena Grau  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 22:59
Spanish to English
Focusing on the advantages and organising social activities Feb 16, 2011

That´s a good question. I suppose it depends on one´s personality (to a certain extent), because let´s be honest, some people wouldn´t be able to adjust to this lifestyle, no matter what. A couple of ideas:

- Yes, it can get lonely, but think of all the pluses about working as a freelancer. For example, not having to deal with traffic, parking, weather, etc., in order to get to work. Making your own hours. Not having a boss to answer to. No job is 100% ideal, but I can te
... See more
That´s a good question. I suppose it depends on one´s personality (to a certain extent), because let´s be honest, some people wouldn´t be able to adjust to this lifestyle, no matter what. A couple of ideas:

- Yes, it can get lonely, but think of all the pluses about working as a freelancer. For example, not having to deal with traffic, parking, weather, etc., in order to get to work. Making your own hours. Not having a boss to answer to. No job is 100% ideal, but I can tell you that the vast majority of my friends/acquaintances think that I live like a queen (I can´t disagree).

- Try to organise social activities regularly, on a daily basis if possible. I love playing sports, so I arrange tennis matches for most afternoons. This allows me to release some stress while having a good laugh with friends. It also gives me something to look forward to. Or I make plans to meet friends for lunch/dinner/drinks. Since I spend so much time in front of the computer, when I´m done working it´s the last thing I want to see.

- Facebook. It´s a great way to take a quick break and disconnect for a few minutes when you´re feeling overwhelmed but still have a few hours of work left.

These work for me. Good luck!
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Els Hoefman
Els Hoefman  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:59
English to Dutch
+ ...
Quick poll Feb 16, 2011

What a coincidence - I was wondering the same last week and suggested a quick poll with the question: "Do you ever feel down as a result of working alone all the time?" Let's see if it comes up any time soon.

 
Argyro Alykatora
Argyro Alykatora  Identity Verified
Greece
Local time: 23:59
Member (2009)
English to Greek
+ ...
People get lonely in offices too Feb 16, 2011

When I first went freelance, getting lonely was one of my biggest worries, as I am a very social person. Discussing it with colleagues who work in-house, they often claimed loneliness even in the presence of their colleagues (let alone feeling hostile at times!!!). So I agree, no job is ideal, you will have to make it suit you (possible to a certain extent). I usually plan activities or meet up with friends in order to socialize. Take up a hobby or a sport. I am also very fond of sports and danc... See more
When I first went freelance, getting lonely was one of my biggest worries, as I am a very social person. Discussing it with colleagues who work in-house, they often claimed loneliness even in the presence of their colleagues (let alone feeling hostile at times!!!). So I agree, no job is ideal, you will have to make it suit you (possible to a certain extent). I usually plan activities or meet up with friends in order to socialize. Take up a hobby or a sport. I am also very fond of sports and dancing, you will need the activity if you are going to be sitting in front of a computer all day long! During the day, my friends call me and that is a nice break away from the computer. Another idea if you have space in your office would be to share the space with a fellow colleague/friend. In such a way, you can share experiences, work when you are overloaded, even the office expenses. Of course, there are dangers involved, so please do your research!

All the best!
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guest1234 (X)
guest1234 (X)  Identity Verified
Mauritius
Local time: 01:59
French to English
+ ...
Do SPORTS Feb 16, 2011

Get out of this room for 30 minutes and run in a beautiful jogging track filled with beautiful women. Or any other sport where you can see lots of your fellow human beings.

Take a shower immediately after this.

Eat a good dinner with the girlfriend that you met at the jogging track.

Do this 3 times per week or more.


 
Mathieu Jacquet
Mathieu Jacquet  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 22:59
English to French
Switch off any "social" network and go out + find an office to share Feb 16, 2011

Hi indie,

the best advice that I would recommend is that, when you're facing your PC, this is only for work. If you're not, go out to meet friends or take a breath of fresh air.

Do not lose time getting to so-called "social" networks, which are just making you feel you're socializing while you're actually not.

Do sports with other people, as Avinash recommended, fix appointments with friends for a 2-hour break (movie, a drink, a restaurant...) which you ha
... See more
Hi indie,

the best advice that I would recommend is that, when you're facing your PC, this is only for work. If you're not, go out to meet friends or take a breath of fresh air.

Do not lose time getting to so-called "social" networks, which are just making you feel you're socializing while you're actually not.

Do sports with other people, as Avinash recommended, fix appointments with friends for a 2-hour break (movie, a drink, a restaurant...) which you have to go to (no "I'm not done yet, sorry"). Get really disciplined in working times to be able to organize your life before and after work.

One of my last pieces of advice would be to share an office with other people but on that ponit I have little experience to share. I have been working at home for 3 years now and will be moving next month in an office that I'd like to share, but I still have to find people willing to do so! I'll keep you posted.

Mathieu.
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Veronica Coquard
Veronica Coquard
France
Local time: 22:59
French to English
+ ...
Take time out just for you! Feb 16, 2011

It's terribly cliché, but it's true. As freelancers we are the only ones looking out for ourselves, but that doesn't just mean earning a living. It also means taking time to live, and finding ways to enjoy life.

Everyone is different, but here's what works for me, whether I'm feeling too stressed out (too much work, not enough time) or just lonely and negative.

I always get up early in the morning to do a bit of yoga. It really helps to take a quiet moment out before t
... See more
It's terribly cliché, but it's true. As freelancers we are the only ones looking out for ourselves, but that doesn't just mean earning a living. It also means taking time to live, and finding ways to enjoy life.

Everyone is different, but here's what works for me, whether I'm feeling too stressed out (too much work, not enough time) or just lonely and negative.

I always get up early in the morning to do a bit of yoga. It really helps to take a quiet moment out before turning on the computer. If you're not into full-on meditation, a few good deep breaths will help you get centered.

When I'm having breakfast, I listen to the radio, which is a kind of presence in the house. During lunch, I watch the news, and I find that the fixed hours of radio and TV programs help regulate my day, as well as keeping me up to date on what's going on in the world.

I generally keep regular office hours, but sometimes in the afternoon if I'm in a slump, I'll get out and have a walk. I can see that I'm not the only one who finds that fresh air and exercise do a world of good. I live at the edge of a country village, so I'll take my mail down, do some light shopping, or find some other errand to do.

In the summer I'll go swimming and have lunch outside. There are few things that I enjoy more than just kicking back on the terrace with a book in the summer heat.

If it's raining, a lovely hot bath with lots of bath salts is one way to give myself a treat. When I'm having a long day, I use the bath as an end-of-the-day release valve.

What's nice about all this is that it doesn't take much out of the day - maybe a half-hour to have a dip in the pool, for example - but what a difference it makes. Other people spend more time every day stuck in traffic.

The main thing is to stay busy and concentrated when you are working, and at all other times do something that you feel good doing. Getting in touch with nature is a quick way to feel better when you've got the blues.

That being said, nothing can replace human interaction. It's great to have my husband at home in the evenings and on weekends, and sometimes (when work is slow) I'm so thrilled to see him that I'll spend a good half hour following him around the house telling him all about my day. He's the one who ends up feeling lonely when I have to work evenings. We also get out on weekends to walk, see friends, and go places.

I also belong to a few local clubs; for example, I have a weekly dance lesson, and once a month I get together with other English-speaking ladies in my region to have lunch.

As Argyro mentioned, consider that you could be stuck in an office next to someone that you just can't stand. In most of the jobs I've had in my life, I felt like I was interrupted every five minutes, and I had to put on a smiling face even when people bothered me. Now I enjoy being able to concentrate for long periods of time, then totally break out and do something different without having to explain where I'm going.

I hope that this will give you a few ideas. If nothing else, remember that there will be bad days, but they won't last. The sun will come out, and you must take the time to bask in it!

All the best to you!
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Nikita Kobrin
Nikita Kobrin  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 23:59
Member (2010)
English to Russian
+ ...
:-) Feb 16, 2011

guest1234 wrote:

a beautiful jogging track filled with beautiful women


Avinash,

Could you share with me the exact location of that wonderful spot please?

NK


 
Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT
Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 22:59
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Can you please... Feb 16, 2011

guest1234 wrote:
Get out of this room for 30 minutes and run in a beautiful jogging track filled with beautiful women. Or any other sport where you can see lots of your fellow human beings.
Take a shower immediately after this.
Eat a good dinner with the girlfriend that you met at the jogging track.
Do this 3 times per week or more.

Can you please inform IMMEDIATELY about the immigration rules in Mauritious for EU citizens?


 
guest1234 (X)
guest1234 (X)  Identity Verified
Mauritius
Local time: 01:59
French to English
+ ...
They are all around you Feb 16, 2011

I've been to Europe and USA. They're all beautiful over there too! Try a mixed gender judo class in Montpellier next to the zoo and natural park. You have big sports stadiums, swimming pools everywhere, unlike my place.

You get to see the same old people but in leisure mode. You'll be surprised how kind they are when they play tennis against you. Indoors or outdoors, it's ok.

In my part of Mauritius, the weather is very unstable: spotless sky then sudden rain every 5 mi
... See more
I've been to Europe and USA. They're all beautiful over there too! Try a mixed gender judo class in Montpellier next to the zoo and natural park. You have big sports stadiums, swimming pools everywhere, unlike my place.

You get to see the same old people but in leisure mode. You'll be surprised how kind they are when they play tennis against you. Indoors or outdoors, it's ok.

In my part of Mauritius, the weather is very unstable: spotless sky then sudden rain every 5 minutes. Prepare your umbrella.
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Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT
Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 22:59
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
No time for that Feb 16, 2011

guest1234 wrote:
I've been to Europe and USA. They're all beautiful over there too! Try a mixed gender judo class in Montpellier next to the zoo and natural park. You have big sports stadiums, swimming pools everywhere, unlike my place.

But my friend, a successful translator in Europe hardly has the time to do sports! Or so I am told. Maybe it is time I raised my rates once for all!


 
Mirja Maletzki
Mirja Maletzki  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 06:59
Korean to German
+ ...
Yoga Feb 16, 2011

I work 4 hours in the morning and attend a yoga class around lunch time. When I get home, I eat and then get back to work for another 4 hours. This works perfectly for me because it takes my mind off things and gives me new energy for the second working sprint.

I also make it a point to visit my friends who work at the office during their lunch break. Since my friends can't come out to meet me during the week, I sometimes visit them to share lunch. Great way to socialize and get out
... See more
I work 4 hours in the morning and attend a yoga class around lunch time. When I get home, I eat and then get back to work for another 4 hours. This works perfectly for me because it takes my mind off things and gives me new energy for the second working sprint.

I also make it a point to visit my friends who work at the office during their lunch break. Since my friends can't come out to meet me during the week, I sometimes visit them to share lunch. Great way to socialize and get out of the house.
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How to deal with loneliness







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