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Freelance translator and/or interpreter, Verified site user
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English to French: Fourth ProZ.com Translation Contest - Entry #1247
Source text - English When my wife told me she was pregnant, I got that stomach-churning sensation that hits you on a plunging roller coaster. I was excited, yes, but... oh my God. Parenting was for, well, parents.
So here I stand, bug-eyed and sweating buckets like some poorly-drawn cartoon character, the question marks floating in the air around my head while I try to prepare myself for the complete care and responsibility of another living being besides my cat. I'm responsible for making sure this little human doesn't grow up and turn into a complete monster. If the child turns out a social moron-- my fault. If the babe can't find Luxembourg on the map, blame me for not providing a better education. They'll need therapy, and of course that will be on my head too. So many opportunities for wrong turns!
I remember the day my father sat me down and awkwardly told me about the birds and the bees; it was perhaps the most excruciating and embarrassing half hour of both our lives. I can't do that to another human being.
Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. I can do this, I say; I'll be a great father. My child will be reared a well-rounded, educated, upstanding citizen of the world, and he or she won't hate me.
And then I imagine the baby, still safe within the confines of my wife's belly, suddenly opening an alarmed eye as the thought enters his or her mind: "What if my dad just can't hack it?
Translation - French Lorsque ma femme m’a annoncé qu’elle était enceinte, j’ai senti mon estomac se retourner comme en pleine descente dans les montagnes russes. J’étais certes excité, mais ho la la, pour moi élever un enfant, c’était bon pour… les parents.
Tel un personnage de bande dessinée mal griffonné, je suis là, debout, les yeux écarquillés, transpirant à grosses gouttes avec des points d’interrogation en suspens autour de la tête, tandis que j’envisage le soin et la responsabilité qu’implique la présence d’un autre être vivant que mon chat. Je vais devoir veiller à ce que ce petit humain ne devienne pas un monstre en grandissant. Si cet enfant devient un crétin, ce sera ma faute. Si ce petit n’est pas capable de dire où se trouve le Luxembourg sur une carte, on me reprochera d’avoir négligé son éducation. Il faudra le soigner, et bien sûr ce sera aussi à moi de m’en occuper. Ça fait pas mal d’occasions de se tromper !
Je me souviens du jour où mon père m’a fait asseoir pour me parler avec maladresse de la petite graine ; il me semble que pour nous deux ça a été la demi-heure la plus pénible et la plus gênante que nous ayons vécue. Je ne peux pas infliger ça à un autre être humain.
Mais, je vais peut-être un peu vite en besogne. Je peux y arriver après tout ; je ferai un bon père. Je ferai de ce garçon ou de cette fille un citoyen du monde équilibré, cultivé et droit qui ne me détestera pas.
Puis, j’imagine le bébé qui est encore à l’abri dans le ventre de ma femme et qui ouvre soudain un œil inquiet alors que cette pensée lui traverse l’esprit : « Et si mon père ne tient pas le choc ? »
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Experience
Years of experience: 24. Registered at ProZ.com: Sep 2002.
English to French (UFR LLSHS - Université Paris 13, verified) French (UFR LLSHS - Université Paris 13, verified) English (UFR LLSHS - Université Paris 13, verified)
Memberships
N/A
Software
MemSource Cloud, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Word, HTML Editors, Powerpoint, Protemos, SDLX, Subtitle Edit, Trados Studio, XTM
I specialize in English to French translations for EU institutions (European Commission, European Parliament, the European Committee of the Regions, CORDIS, etc.) as well as international organisations and NGOs.
My skills:
- Broad experience in EU and international affairs.
- Excellent knowledge of SDL Trados Studio 2019.
- Terminology management.
- Impeccable organizational skills.
- Detail-oriented and quality-driven.
- Former French Team Supervisor at iLanguage.com
My main achievments:
- Translation and proofreading of print and web publications for various DGs of the European Commission – over 2 million words
- Translation of documents for the European Parliament – 500,000 words
- Translation of contents for various UN agencies - 200,000 words
- Translation for various NGOs - over 200,000 words
- Translation of business and financial contents – 160,000 words
- Translation and proofreading of a major travel information provider – 150,000 words
- Translation of marketing contents for a car importer’s website – 65,000 words
This user has earned KudoZ points by helping other translators with PRO-level terms. Click point total(s) to see term translations provided.
Keywords: English to French professional translator, EU affairs, EU institutions, international organisations, NGOs, public affairs, environment, development, cooperation, business. See more.English to French professional translator, EU affairs, EU institutions, international organisations, NGOs, public affairs, environment, development, cooperation, business, marketing, tourism. See less.
Bruce Capelle 
Expertise 