Winters used to be cold in England. We, my parents especially, spent them watching the wrestling. The wrestling they watched on their black-and-white television sets on Saturday afternoons represented a brief intrusion of life and colour in their otherwise monochrome lives. Their work overalls were faded, the sofa cover—unchanged for years—was faded, their memories of the people they had been before coming to England were fading too. My parents, their whole generation, treadmilled away the best years of their lives toiling in factories for shoddy paypackets. A life of drudgery, of deformed spines, of chronic arthritis, of severed hands. They bit their lips and put up with the pain. They had no option but to. In their minds they tried to switch off—to ignore the slights of co-workers, not to bridle against the glib cackling of foremen, and, in the case of Indian women, not to fret when they were slapped about by their husbands. Put up with the pain, they told themselves, deal with the pain—the shooting pains up the arms, the corroded hip joints, the back seizures from leaning over sewing machines for too many years, the callused knuckles from handwashing clothes, the rheumy knees from scrubbing the kitchen floor with their husbands' used underpants.
When my parents sat down to watch the wrestling on Saturday afternoons, milky cardamon tea in hand, they wanted to be entertained, they wanted a laugh. But they also wanted the good guy, just for once, to triumph over the bad guy. They wanted the swaggering, braying bully to get his come-uppance. They prayed for the nice guy, lying there on the canvas, trapped in a double-finger interlock or clutching his kidneys in agony, not to submit. If only he could hold out just a bit longer, bear the pain, last the course. If only he did these things, chances were, wrestling being what it was, that he would triumph. It was only a qualified victory, however. You'd see the winner, exhausted, barely able to wave to the crowd. The triumph was mainly one of survival. | 那时的英格兰,冬天很冷。我们,尤其是我的父母,就以观看摔跤比赛度过这寒冷的冬日。星期六下午黑白电视机上播放的摔跤比赛,成了他们单调生活中一段缤纷的小插曲。在那个时间里,他们的所有工作都不再重要了,数年没有更换过的沙发盖套也不再烦人,来英格兰之前的那些岁月留痕的记忆亦在此刻淡出了脑海。我的父母,整个他们那一代的人,为了绵薄的薪酬,在工厂单调的机械重复动作里,辛苦耗去了他们生命中最美好的岁月。对于他们来说,生活就是苦干,就是卷曲的脊柱,就是慢性关节炎,就是饱经风霜的双手。他们咬紧牙关,把这些痛苦都承受了下来。除此之外,他们别无选择。他们也曾在心里想过要结束这一切——那样就可以不必再理会同事的轻视,不必再忍受工头油滑的喋喋不休,对于那些印度妇人,也就可以不必再有被老公殴打之后的懊恼。忍受,忍受,他们对自己说,挺住痛苦——忍受臂膀上的锥心疼痛,忍受损伤的髋关节,忍受因为太多年来倾身于纺织机上工作而落下的背疾的突然发作,忍受由于手洗衣物而僵硬的指关节,忍受因跪着擦洗厨房地板而导致的风湿膝盖——擦洗工具是老公的旧内裤。
星期六下午,我的父母会捧上一杯豆蔻奶茶,坐下来观看摔跤比赛。他们期望从中得到些许欢娱,期望能够笑一笑。他们同时还希望那个好人能打败那个坏蛋,哪怕就一次也好。他们希望那个嚣张嘶嚎的恶棍得到应有的惩罚。他们为好人祈祷,那个躺倒在场上的好人,那个被双指连环扣制住的好人,还有那个痛苦地捂着肚子的好人,他们祈祷他能不抛弃、不放弃!只要他能再坚持一下,忍受住痛苦,坚持到比赛结束。只要做到这几点,按照当时的摔跤比赛规则,他就有胜出的机会。但胜利者却只有一个。胜利者总是疲惫不堪,几乎再也无力向观众们挥手示意。胜利,属于坚持下来的人。
谨以此译文致献四川地震灾区人民。
不抛弃、不放弃,你们会的,我们知道。
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