Competition in this pair is now closed, and the winning entry has been announced. Discussion and feedback about the competition in this language pair may now be provided by visiting the "Discussion & feedback" page for this pair. Entries may also be individually discussed by clicking the "Discuss" link next to any listed entry. Source text in English The Beginning
All in a moment, years ago,
The boy I was became a man:
Suddenly my life began!
I saw the world before me— So
That ploughman by his horses stands
Sweating on the first hill's brow,
Having left the riverlands
Furrowed in the vale below,
And sees a mountainside to plough,
Barren rock to blunt his share,
Thunder hanging in the air,
And the black peak above him, bare,
Waiting now.
—Let him plough it if he dare! | The winning entry has been announced in this pair.There were 3 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase. The winning entry was determined based on finals round voting by peers.
Competition in this pair is now closed. | Awal mula Semua terjadi sekejap, tahunan lalu, begitu aku menjadi pria dewasa: Tiba-tiba hidupku dimulai! Kutatap dunia di hadapanku— Lalu Pembajak tegap dengan kuda-kudanya Berpeluh di atas bukit, Setelah meninggalkan daratan Beralur di bawah lembah, Dan melihat lereng gunung untuk dibajak, Bebatuan tandus menjadi jatahnya, Guntur menggelegar di udara, Dan puncak legam di atasnya, kosong, Sedang menunggu. —Biarkan dia membajaknya jika berani! | Entry #29234 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Winner Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
---|
88 | 22 x4 | 0 | 0 |
- 2 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (6 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
| Good term selection All other translations have struggled with this, some choosing to not translated, others just sticking to river. A difficult choice, but this captures the sense of the original | Ian Rowland | |
Bebatuan | Good term selection | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 legam | Good term selection Yes! Would have been easy to just go for hitam or gelap here, but legam sits well | Ian Rowland | |
- 1 user entered 1 "dislike" tag
- 1 user agreed with "dislikes" (1 total agree)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Permulaan Semua dalam sesaat, bertahun-tahun yang lalu, Anak itu saya yang menjadi seorang pria: Seketika hidup saya dimulai! Saya melihat dunia di hadapanku— Jadi Pembajak tanah itu bersandar pada kudanya Berkeringat di dahi bukit pertama, Setelah meninggalkan sungai Berkerut di lembah di bawah ini, Dan melihat gunung untuk membajak, Batu tandus untuk menumpulkan bagiannya, Guntur menggantung di udara, Dan puncak hitam di atasnya, telanjang, Menunggu sekarang. —Biarkan dia membajak jika dia berani! | Entry #30119 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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19 | 0 | 8 x2 | 3 x1 |
- 1 user entered 2 "like" tags
Guntur menggantung di udara | Flows well Beautiful and simple expression, nice alliteration | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
telanjang | Good term selection A strong powerful word that works well in the context of the rocky slope | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
- 2 users entered 3 "dislike" tags
- 1 user agreed with "dislikes" (1 total agree)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
sungai | Omission The original is riverlands, so gives the idea of the land that lies on either side of the river. | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
| Permulaan Dalam saat ini, bertahun-tahun yang lalu, anak laki-laki yang dulunya adalah saya menjadi seorang pria: Hidup saya mulai secara mendadak! Saya melihat dunia di depan saya - Jadi Pembajak sawah bersama dengan kuda-kudanya berdiri keringatan di puncak bukit yang pertama Setelah meninggalkan Riverlands Lembah yang beralur di bawah, dan melihat sebuah lereng gunung untuk dibajak. bebatuan yang tandus untuk menghalangi bagiannya, Halilintar bergelantungan di udara, dan puncak yang gelap di atasnya, kosong, saat ini menunggu. -- Biarkan dia membajaknya apabila dia berani! | Entry #30025 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Standard-Indonesiastdind
Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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13 | 0 | 3 x2 | 7 x1 |
- 1 user entered 2 "like" tags
Dalam | Flows well The first two lines of the original are complicated. Your translation conveys that well | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
saat ini menunggu. | Good term selection I like the inversion here. It brings a nice tension before the final close. | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
- 2 users entered 5 "dislike" tags
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
-1 anak laki-laki yang dulunya adalah saya menjadi seorang pria: | Syntax not fluent, too "word per word" | Henny Willis | |
-1 Hidup saya mulai secara mendadak! | Syntax not fluent | Henny Willis | |
sawah | Other unclear if it's "sawah" or not | Henny Willis No agrees/disagrees | |
Riverlands | Omission These are the lands that lie either side of the river, through which is runs | Ian Rowland No agrees/disagrees | |
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